Forgiveness Heals

Aloha All,
I often think about forgiveness, all its associations and what it means to me personally and what it means in our culture.

For me, forgiveness has been a powerful ally in my healing and in getting my life back from those people from whom I received abuse. Many people and religions feel that we should just give a blanket round of forgiveness to our perpetrators and to "just get over it" the "it" being the abuse. In my experience, "getting over it" rarely works. For me, forgiveness runs much deeper into the core of who we are and how we want to be in the world. I do not forgive others for their sakes or because my religion or someone says I must. I forgive others so that I may be free of them and to have a more enriching, enlivening, and happy life.

Recently, I came across a beautiful article in Yoga Journal that talks about forgiveness much more eloquently than I ever could:
Forgiveness Heals

Peace,
Tom

Massage adds loving touch to your relationship

RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE dance. We join for a while with a partner to move through life. Some of us float with the grace of maturity over the floor of a large ballroom, while others bop frenetically with the awkwardness of a teenager in darken dance halls. In this dance of relationship, we seek to join with our partner in intimate ways that have the potential to being beautiful and sacred.
To touch is to experience the godself in ourselves and in the other. Physiologically, humans are wired to give and receive touch. Gentle and loving touch of another opens a rich and wonderful realm of experience; endorphins are released producing pleasure, lymph circulation is promoted and the muscles release toxins and other waste products along with attending emotional issues. Through loving touch, we learn we can become safe and vulnerable with our beloved, thus becoming closer to our
partner in a way that is precious and deep. The god/dess in ourselves blends with the god/dess of the other creating a communion that is spiritual beyond description.

Many ways to enhance your relationship
If you and your partner wish to enhance your physical relationship, massage is a wonderful gift for you both to share with each other. The following list is just one of several ways of introducing another form of loving touch into your relationship:

•Get out your daytimers and set aside several dates for you and your partner to get together to create and share in your loving space. If you wait until you both "have the time," you may find you never do.
•On each date, get rid of the distractions. Turn off the phones, ignore the doorbell, lock the doors, and find someone to play with the kids for a few hours. This is your time to be with your beloved and to re-discover each other in new and fun ways.
•On your first date, find a comfortable and pleasing place to cuddle. Tell each other your dreams for your physical relationship. Listen to each other and dream out loud about the sacred space you would each like to create where you can commune with each other. This space need not be fancy. Instead, have it reflect how you would like to be touched by beauty in all the senses: touch, sight, feel, smell, and even taste.
•Over time, create your sacred space together. Collect soothing music, light, and art to enhance the mood of the space.
•Buy some books and videotapes on massage. Play with creating a pleasant mixture of massage oil. Add fragrant essences to the oil to stimulate the sense of smell.
•In creating your sacred space, make a comfortable place for both giving and receiving the massage. Make sure it is warm enough for the recipient. If the bed doesn't work well for massage, buy a good quality massage table. A good comfortable table can be bought or built for not too much money.
•Honor your beloved before, during and after the massage. The god/dess self in you is communing with the god/dess self of your beloved. Create and share a heart opening ceremony before the massage. Both of you state what you want for the other. And have fun with the ceremony! If you want, you can dance, or song to your ceremony.
•Loving massage is a flowing dance between you and your partner. Follow the flow of the massage. Honor your partner’s requests; do more of whatever your partner likes, and don't do what your partner doesn't like. Play and experiment with technique. Lavish your partner like the royalty they are during this sacred time.
•Be totally there for your partner.

This means no mental laundry lists! Sometimes feelings may come up for your partner that have been trapped in the body for a long time. These can be feelings of sadness and anger as well as those of joy and ecstasy. Whatever feelings come up, you need do no more than just cradle this precious person and listen to them without judgment and with an open heart. They're opening up to you because they feel the safe and loving space that's been created between you.
When the massage has finished, cover them up to keep them warm. Pamper them by washing their feet or whatever loving gesture comes to mind. If they need to be alone with their feelings, then gently let them know that you are available to listen to them later and let them be. Otherwise, cuddle with your beloved. And, if the fires of passion happened to have been ignited, then, well, I'm sure you both can figure out the next part.

Now is the time to bring beauty to the world

Dear Friends,
Times like these, when the global financial markets are melting, provide fertile grounds for all sorts of emails about world conspiracies, the take over of North America into one Union where its inhabitants become slaves to the overlord, the takeover of the planet by the illuminati or the lizard people. I'm sure you get my drift. I probably receive about a dozen of these a week.

Now, I sometimes enjoy a good conspiracy theory now and then. They're exciting and get my blood going, etc... but after spending a sleepless night after watching some disturbing YouTube videos, I decided that all these emails do is invoke fear in people. And one thing that fear does is breed more fear. One reason the stock markets are crashing is because people are acting out of fear. And, fear paralyzes people into inaction, shortens our lifespans and sends the vibrational frequencies of the planet into the collective dumpster.

And, what is the opposite of fear? Love. And compassion.

Fear seperates people from each other.

Love connects.

Fear brings people into lower vibrations.

Love raises vibration.

All of us have the ability to maintain a calm center of peace and love so that those who are in fear and anxiety may know peace and love. And they in turn will transmit these frequencies of peace and love those around them and so on.

So, during these turbulent times we have an wonderful opportunity to shift the vibration of the planet. Do we choose to transmit fear? Or, do we choose to transmit love, peace and compassion? Do we choose to send emails of doom and destruction, or do we find pictures of beauty and full of wonderful life force to send instead?

Me, I choosing to send beauty, love and life force.

Love and Blessings!

Why We Perceive Beauty

Several years ago, I used to fly out to Ashland Oregon for meditation classes. On one of these trips, a small group of us decided to drive up as far as we could on Mount Shasta and do a bit of hiking and then watch the sunset.

It was a bit chilly and the air at that altitude was was a bit thin and absolutely clear. As the sun went down the thin clouds started catching the colors of the setting sun radiating in pure tones of various pastels, greens and fuscias and oranges. The shapes of the some of the clouds were magnificent with one small bank of clouds appearing as marching column of little squares.

As I watched this beautiful display of nature and while being very receptive to the beauty all around me, I asked myself, "how is it that we humans are able to perceive such beauty?" And as I asked the question, within a part of my mind, an image formed of a beautiful crystal radiating pure white light, and then I knew, as I was shown this crystal, that this crystal, radiating such beautiful light was within me and was my core essence. And that not only was this crystal within me, but it is within each of us. Each of us has within us, this beautiful radiant light, and in fact, we are that beautiful radiant light. And it is because we are this beautiful radiant light that we are able to perceive such beauty as what we may experience such as a sunset on Mount Shasta.

And so, at those times that I'm feeling less than, or that I'm hard on myself or need to have more compassion for myself, I sometimes remember my experience on Mount Shasta and remember that, at my core, I am a beautiful radiant crystal of light.

And for my clients, and friends and to those of you who have a hard time seeing your inner beauty or may not even be aware that it exists, please know that this light is there and it is radiant and vibrant and strong it will shine through, maybe only in glimpses at first, but does become stronger and stronger as you walk your path of spiritual growth and you clear those things within you that hide or muddy your light. And that is my hope for you!

Hula - Body Beautiful in Motion

A large part of the energy that I share with my clients in the healing work I do is from Hawaii. I feel that so much of this energy is about life, and love, and beauty and movement. And that the art of Hula shows us this energy so well.

So, with this in mind, I'd to share with you a website of a photographer who has taken some very beautiful photos of Hula dancers. To get there, just click the link below then select which series of photos you'd like to see from the list in the upper right hand corner that reads, "Take me to...". Of course, my favorites are of the "Women of Hula." Aloha, Tom

Randy Jay Braun Photography

Recognition of the Body Exercise

I love Margo Anand's work. One of the books I sometimes encourage people to practice is, "The Art of Sexual Ecstasy". In it, is a wonderful exercise for acknowledging and honoring the body. It is called, "Recognition of the Body".

This exercise is done standing naked in front of a full-length mirror, and can be done by one's self or with a trusted, loving partner. It can be a wonderful way to wake up in the morning or as part of self-pleasuring. With a partner, "Recognition of the Body" is an honoring way entering into exchanging massage or sharing love making.

In my edition of "The Art of Sexual Ecstasy", this exercise appears on pages 137 - 139. Because my edition is old, I'm guessing in later editions, it will show up somewhere else.

Here's a short version of the exercise:
Standing naked in front of the mirror, you start the exercise with a heart salutation toward your reflection. Then, starting with your feet and working your way up your body, you mindfully touch the part of your body you're recognizing and state, "My (named body part, for example the feet) are the temple of my soul and I honor them." Continue this all the way from feet to crown, acknowledging and honoring each part of your body temple. Remember to include those parts of ourselves that where we sometimes hold shame or dis-like, such as our genitals and tummies. Then, at the end of the exercise, face the mirror and do another heart salutation.

Another exercise that I suggest for people, is, while lovingly and gently touching their bodies, to repeat to themselves, "I have a beautiful body, to cherish and behold, till death do I part." This exercise can be a great way to love oneself and even to relax oneself before falling asleep at night.

You are allowed, and even encouraged to take pleasure in and enjoy your body temples.

Aloha, Tom

New: No Charge Initial Consultation for New Clients

Aloha,
Just wanted to update you all to a change I'm making in my practice. For new clients, I am offering a one half hour initial consultation at no charge.

What the initial consultation provides, then, is a way for you, who is seeking my assistance, to meet me, talk about the healing you want to receive, boundaries (how we honor and respect each other), and, if we have the time, to receive some gentle, bodywork. With this, my intention is for us both to get a sense for if we would make a good healing partnership.

I am excited about adding this to my practice and I feel that it will improve your healing experience. If you have further questions, please feel free to call me at: 952 953-7035 or email me at: myspiritworks@hotmail.com

Mahalo, Tom

Review of the production, "In our Right Minds" by Dale Allen

Aloha to All,
I was recently lent a copy of a wonderful production of "In our Right Minds" by Dale Allen. This collection of skits and dance talks about the long history, importance, and strength of honoring Goddess energy in the world. She goes on to show how our patriarchal, left-brain dominated cultures came into being and how the the feminine right brain ended up being discounted. I find her encouragement in that, once again, Goddess energy is re-emerging.

This is a fun performance to watch and well worth the time!

Many Blessings! Tom

Comments about self-pleasuring

My Dear Readers,
A woman I know wrote these reflections she had about self-pleasuring and is allowing me to share them with you...

Sexual feelings and self-pleasuring are a lot more than just sexual. This is also helping me to feel like I have the Right to touch myself, and this is a touch that is a good touch, and this good touch, I think is also helping heal all the spiritual abuse that I need to recover from, and also heal my Soul that was almost completely murdered, caused by Horrible "touching" from others, that made me feel like I am not worth a DAMN thing and that I am worthless. And I think that self-pleasuring is also helping me to love myself as a person who deserves to be treated with respect every minute of every day.

Do women have to feel really good about touching themselves and self-pleasuring themselves, before they can feel good about a male being sexual with them? For myself I would say, yes.

We are told "don't touch yourself down there", and "don't let anyone see you", (meaning your naked body). Now, thinking about this, I should have been the first person to touch myself "down there". And "don't let anyone see you", made me feel A LOT of shame and hate for my body. A naked body should ALWAYS be looked at as Beautiful and with the HIGHEST of RESPECT, and not abuse.

Self-pleasuring is helping me to feel A LOT less shame and hate for my body. After self-pleasuring I usually feel relaxed, and I'm beginning to notice that sometimes my body feels lighter and more ALIVE. Now, thinking about this, I am also self-loving, and this is a gift that I am giving myself.

See also:
Article on Self-pleasuring
or, Google self-pleasuring

Movie Recommendation - 'Nell,' starring Jodie Foster

"Nell" is one of those movies that I greatly enjoyed and highly recommend. Jodie Foster plays the role of Nell, a young woman growing up isolated in the forest with her mother who was speech impaired from a stroke. When the movie opens, she is visited by a psychologist who needs to do an evaluation on her.

Some of what grabbed me about the movie is the premise that we are born innocent, and I think, in a state of grace. Nell is fully secure in her environment and the sensuality of her own body. In her natural environment, she knows and expresses only love.

I fully encourage you to rent this movie and, if you wish, share your impressions. Aloha.

Sensual Impressions

It is an early spring day in late April. Sunny with some clouds. Warm, but not too hot. The sun is bright and there is a slight breeze that tickles my arm hairs now and again.

I hear the distant song of a sparrow the drumming of a rough grouse calling to his potential mate. The creek gurgles incessantly with the melt water of a long and snowy winter.

The grass from last year is dead and not yet regrown but for the light green of tender new shoots. I see a single early flower. I feel safe and vulnerable at the same time. The warmth of the sun on my body intermixed with the occasional coolness of the breeze. I feel at peace and yet empowered in my sense of belonging to this place.

The breeze picks up. I feel goose bumps arise on my skin. The breeze gently caresses me like a familiar lover and, for a moment, I feel life flowing through me. I feel loved by the Sun, Earth, and Sky.

In the distance, I hear the rythmic knocking of a wood pecker's industry.

There are no bugs, save an occasional fly buzzing lazily along.

Suddenly, I feel a gentle splash of water on my knee. Then another on my back. A small dark cloud has drifted over me and is sprinkling me oh so slightly. Normally, I would seek cover from the rain, but in this moment, I choose to embrace its cool splattering on my skin.

I hear a "cluck cluck cluck" coming from somewhere near the pond. I wonder if it's a wood duck. I can't see it. I am o.k. with the not knowing.

I pull my hand along a frond of fir feeling silky smoothness of the needles. I move my hand to my nose and inhale slowly and take in the sweet smell of balsam.

What do we believe?

Aloha to All!
I've been working on creating a post about sensuality when my beloved partner showed me a quote by a Buddist Monk that was in the Saturday edition of the Minneapolis Star Tribune. This touched me on so many levels that I decided to included it instead for today. You can find this quote yourself in the Source relationships section on the back page.

Anyway, this quote deals with what should we believe spiritually. I include his quote here because I feel that I am guided, as a healer, to help people discover what their inner truth is. So please, read on.....

This is by The Rev. Sathindriya of Minneapolis in response to the question, "What do you believe and why?"

"If I have to use the word "believe," I would say that I believe in the teachings of Buddha. The Buddist point of view is that we do not have to believe in anything we cannot experience for ourselves. When asked, "How do we know whose teachings to believe?" Buddha replied, "Do not believe something to be true just because it is spread by word of mouth, practiced as a tradition or sensationally spread far and wide. Do not believe something to be true just because it is cited in scriptures or on the grounds of logic or philosophy. Do not believe a statement to be true just because if appeals to one's common sense or preconceived idea. Do not believe something to be true based on the speaker's credibility or because the speaker is your teacher." In Budhism, no system of dogmatism forces others to believe without giving them a chance to decide for themselves. This keeps us from being enslaved by others' concepts. Buddhism teaches how to believe in one's self. By observing the nature of the self and doing the right thing according to an open mind, one can delvelop faith in one's own self."

Shame

I probably don't think about shame as much as I used to. Usually, I think about it at times when something triggers it, like saying no to someone because I need to take care of myself. The trigger reminds me that I still have some healing to do for myself. It makes me appreciate how powerful shame has been, and in some cases still is in directing my life, forming the framework in how I make decisions and how I feel about myself.

Dictionary.com defines shame as: A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace. How much of any of these feelings, guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace, do you think, are out of proportion to events in our lives? For me, it tends to be guilt, usually followed by feeling unworthy. If I choose to hold an opinion, or to follow a path that may run counter to what I think others may expect, I fall into my feelings of guilt. I become defensive, at least internally, and feel on edge because I don't know when someone will "get me" for standing up for myself or choosing to follow a different road. My feelings of unworthiness will then kick in as I start to compare myself to perceived expectations. I may ask myself, "who am I to do such and such (usually to follow a more sane path of experience) when so and so is (fill in the blank)? Although these patterns still operate for me, I am, thankfully less apt to just freeze like a deer in the headlights of an on-coming car.

Shame, for me, is like the dust, and smoke and debris after a conflagration. It clogs the air about me, sometimes making it hard to breathe. It dims the light of who I am so that others, as well as myself, only see a fraction of what's good, and pure and of love I am.

Shame is also the running dialog in my head from other people, most of them long gone from my life. "Oh you're being too sensitive" was a common theme when I stood up for myself. For some, it's, "You're too fat/ugly/selfish/tall/small/dumb, etc..."

But, these are all lies told to us by people who have a vested interest in manipulating us to serve their own needs and agendas. Once we realize this, their power to dominate over us dwindles. Often, the man behind the curtain is feeling small himself and needs to make someone else feel smaller. They want us to take the burden of shame that they carry. We don't have to do that anymore.

After many years of healing, I've come to the simple conclusion that shame is not who I am. I've been blessed/gifted with having seen some measure of who I am at my core. And I am beautiful! I am a crystal of pure light. This is my soul essence. Pure and constant. Warm and loving. A beacon that guides me back from the abyss of shame. And, what's more is that I am convinced that we are all, at our cores, this beautiful, shining crystal of pure love and goodness.

Aloha

Aloha and Welcome to my Healing Temple

I thank all of you who come to visit me here and hope that you find something positive and fitting to add to your life.

My intention is to add love and harmony to the world by sharing with each of you the gifts of healing that I have received.

Many of you come here because you have pain, or questions about yourself that you would like answered, or because you are curious. Please explore to heart's desire and may you find some part of what you're looking for. If you have questions or comments, you may post them here, or email me at goddessawakening@hotmail.com.

Mahalo, Tom